At least Joel Montgomery kept his pants on...for all we know

Joel Montgomery is farked

Joel Montgomery, one of the f-ups that makes up the Birmingham city council, was apprehended on Saturday morning for being sh-tfaced in Five Points. Still think that raise for the BPD officers is top priority, Joel?

//in other news, District 1 is now in the market for a new council rep

Dairy Queen wants to toss my salad

Look out for your cornhole in the DQ bathroom.

Random YouTubeness: "A world before School House Rock"

SHR could have taught Barn the preamble like they did every other kid born after 1976.

Random YouTubeness: "No mother, it's just the northern lights"

The funniest Simpsons' bit of all time no involving any of the Simpsons themselves.

Obama connects on first great ad of the 08 race...

...even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

The best artists (and their albums) of the past 10 years

In no particular order, because I don't do that kind of thing.

The Shins



Albums: Oh, Inverted World (2001), Chutes Too Narrow (2003), Wincing the Night Away (2006)
Must have songs: New Slang, Girl Inform Me, Phantom Limb, Red Rabbits, Sleeping Lessons

Rilo Kiley


Albums: Take Offs and Landings (2001), The Execution of All Things (2003), More Adventurous (2004)
Must Have Songs: Science vs. Romance, Portions for Foxes

Red Hot Chili Peppers


Albums: Californication (1999), Stadium Arcadium (2006)
Must Have Songs: Cailfornication, Dosed, Under the Bridge, Snow

Guster


Albums: Lost and Gone Forever (1999), Keep it Together (2003), Ganging Up on the Sun (2006)
Must Have Songs: Happier, Fa Fa, Diane, Careful, Keep it Together, Come Downstairs and Say Hello, Ramona, The Captain, Ruby Falls

Gomez


Albums: How We Operate (2006)
Must Have Songs: How We Operate, See the World, Hamoa Beach

Bob Dylan


Albums: Modern Times (2006)
Must Have Songs: Someday Baby

The White Stripes


Albums: White Blood Cells (2002), Elephant (2003), Get Behind Me Satan (2005)
Must Have Songs: Seven Nation Army, My Doorbell, Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, Hotel Yorba, Blue Orchid, The Denial Twist

Eels


Albums: Beautiful Freak (1997), Electro-Shock Blues (1998), Daisies of the Galaxy (2000), Souljacker (2002), Shootenanny! (2003), Blinking Lights and Other Revelations (2005), Oh What a Beautiful Morning (2005)
Must Have Songs: Novocaine for the Soul, Mr. E's Beautiful Blues, Last Stop: This Town, Trouble with Dreams, Hey Man, My Beloved Monster

Coldplay


Albums: Parachutes (2000), A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002), X&Y (2006)
Must Have Songs: Yellow, Clocks, In My Place, White Shadows, What If, A Message

Beck


Albums: Sea Change (2002), Mellow Gold (2004), Odelay (2004), Guero (2005), The Information (2006)
Must Have Songs: Loser, Girl, E-Pro, Where It's At

Modest Mouse



Albums: The Lonesome Crowded West (1997), The Moon and Antarctica (2004), Good News for People Who Love Bad News (2004), We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank (2007)
Must Have Songs: Gravity Rides Everything, Dramamine, Float On, The World At Large, Ocean Breathes Salty, Dashboard

Neutral Milk Hotel


Albums: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (1998), Everything Is (2001)
Must Have Songs: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Holland 1945

Elliott Smith




Albums: Either/Or (1997), XO (1998), Figure 8 (2000), From a Basement on a Hill (2004), Roman Candle (2005) *Note: Smith committed suicide in 2003, his final two albums were released posthumously*
Must Have Songs: Say Yes, Waltz No. 2, Sweet Adeline, Bottle Up and Explode, Bled White, Son of Sam, Pretty (Ugly Before)

Random YouTubeness: "10 Minutes of Homer Simpson"

New Simpsons Movie Trailer

Random YouTubeness: "Oooh, he card reads good!"

Random YouTubeness: "There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?"

Random YouTubeness: "A Festivus for the Rest of Us"

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Eight, The Final Chapter

Chapter Eight: Final Thoughts After Five Years

So many memories and stories…so little time to tell them before I’m gone. This is a special place, with equally special people. Easily my favorite part of working for this team has been my co-workers. Every company loves to promote itself as a “family.” When you work in sports, what with the long hours, tight deadlines, mountains of work and the occasional short fuses, you tend to become very close to those whom you go to battle with. During the season, you will spend much more time with these men and women then you will your own family. So make the most of it. Welcome them with open arms into your life.

For me, working in sports brought home the reality of sports. When you’re a fan, it’s hard to see black and white while wearing rose-colored glasses. Sport is business. At times, it’s a dirty business. You will most likely see other teams in the af2 doing unsavory things. You’ll see other owners short-cutting on essential things like training staff. We heard reports this year of a team with an inebriated trainer on the sidelines. Last season, we visited a team who didn’t even have one at the game. Our own staff had to attend to one of the opposing team’s injured players. Don’t expect that to ever happen in this organization.

Fans on message boards will iconize a certain player, but you know that player quit on the team midway through last week’s game. Or he owes back child support payments. Or he’s a bad seed in the locker-room.

Knowledge is a burden you must bear when you’re on the inside. Players, coaches, owners and staff members aren’t superheroes; they are very human. They make human mistakes. You will, too. This is not always Camelot. It’s not always Princess Kingdom at Walt Disney World.

Instead, at times, it’s more like the tunnels underneath Walt Disney World that transport trash from receptacles to garbage trucks. It’s the Goofy mascot in the green room removing his permanent, gleeful façade and revealing a five-o’clock shadow and bloodshot eyes.

Sometimes, you will be made known of things that others must never know. It happens to every employee who has ever received a paycheck from any team’s front office. It’s part of the job. Remember what I told you: Make sure to keep your clothes in your hamper, don’t take them to the corner laundry.

Finally, this: There is a certain segment of the population that would sacrifice an extremity to sit in this chair and have the access that you have. Don’t forget how much fun it is to be where you are. Because for all the paperwork, deadlines and media guides. For all the fussing that will go on between you and your coach. For all those “tunnels under Disney World moments” you will inevitably encounter…this is a dream job. Enjoy it.

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Dealing with Life on the Road

Lucky you, you’re going on an all expenses paid trip to….Albany, Ga. I hope you’re not afraid of giant cockroaches.

Travel is part of your job as well. In my day, I have been to such desirable vacation sports as Albany, Macon and Columbus, Ga., Huntsville and Mobile, Ala., Albany, N.Y., Charleston, S.C., Little Rock, Ark., Memphis, Tenn., Louisville, Ky., Estero, Fla., Tulsa, Okla., and San Diego, Calif. The San Diego trip was well worth the money it ended up costing me.

Honestly, traveling with the guys can be fun and frustrating all in the same package. There is a layer of excitement, a layer of boredom, a layer of exhaustion, and a layer of “I can’t sit on this bus anymore or I’ll go crazy!” It’s a regular crazy quilt of diesel fumes and lukewarm Powerade.

What to bring

1. At least one pillow – No matter how long the trip, at least one pillow is
required for any comfort whatsoever.
2. Music – iPods, CDs, what have you. Bring it. If you have a portable DVD
player, bring it and two changes of batteries. Please don’t forget
comfortable headphones, preferably those that cover your ears.
3. Ear plugs – They won’t work all that well (the TV’s will be turned up
really loud), but it’s better than nothing.
4. Snacks – Bring something to snack on, if you dig that kind of thing.
5. At least enough clothes for an emergency change – It would be nice to have a
back-up game night shirt in case of some unfortunate incident.
6. A wireless-capable laptop if you’ve got one – Most hotels have wireless access
now. It would be a nice touch to do a road blog.

Traveling protocol

Coach should be the travel czar. Inquisitions should go through him. Make sure that you have a list of rooming arrangements so that you know where every one is. If the team is doing a walkthrough the night before, get with the opposing team’s PR director days before so that you can pick up player/owner tickets and press passes at the practice facility during the walkthrough. This will make things easier on game night.

Try to hang around the hotel as much as possible the night before a game (more on this later). This is a precaution.

On gameday, when you get to the arena, be sure to check in with the opposing team’s PR director to see where visiting radio will be set up, etc. Make sure your coaches are squared away in what ever they may need. Basically, you are there as a gopher, a consultant and a guest. Your duties during away games will range from helping the trainer take water out to players during timeouts, to doing color on the radio, to helping break up a bench-clearing brawl. (all of which happened in my tenure)

Make sure that you call your TV stations with scores like you would during home games. They still need to know.

Lord of the Flies, Bus Trip Edition

When you’re traveling on the bus with the team, it’s like being in a mobile, mini society. The players sit in the back, trainers closer to the front, you in front of the trainers, and coaches in front of you. This seating chart was true on countless trips through two different head coaches.

Things get crazy at times. It’s loud: people yelling, music blaring, TV volume up as high as it can go. After the game: people drinking, getting louder. Bus drivers missing turns. No rest. No sleep. Rolling from midnight into the early morning.

That’s what to expect when you travel. I hope you’re a heavy sleeper.

“Going out vs. Staying in” or “Whether or not to go to Tijuana with Player X”

It is definitely best to stay in rather than go out, especially going out with the guys. Our players have had a tendency to find trouble when they go out. Your job is to avoid finding trouble. Hopefully, you can see my logic.

Case and point: We played in San Diego during the disastrous 2005 season. It is a beautiful city, with many fine eateries and drinking establishments…

It’s also very close to Tijuana.

My roommate was VP of Ticket Ops Shawn Williamson. He didn’t drink, didn’t carouse, didn’t get into trouble. You should be so lucky to have this roommate.

One of our assistant coaches had a rental car, and after we got our butts whooped in the Arena, we were given the car for a night on the town. Now, none of us has been to Mexico, and honestly, we were so close that we kinda wanted to go. But my flight leaves before the team’s, at about 5:30 in the A.M. A person in the know at the hotel told Shawn and I that although it is easy to cross the border into Mexico, it ain’t easy gettin’ out.

So we just decided to drive down to the border and say that we at least saw that.

Before we left, one of our more colorful linemen, "Player X", invited us to go with him and a bunch of the guys into the heart of Tijuana. Cheap booze, cheap food, cheap women. A tempting offer…traveling internationally with the guys would be a lot of fun. And think of all that cheap tequila! But it wasn’t long before the bolt of common sense split the night and zapped us both.

We drove down the border and back in plenty of time for my flight.

"Player X" and the guys fortunately made their flights back. However, they may have had to come up with some quick “mysterious rash alibis” to appease their girlfriends when they got back home. (I kid of course)

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Dealing with Coach and the Team

Remember when I told you that your job involves, to a degree, babysitting the players. If that peaked your interest, then this is the chapter for you. Here is a primer on how to deal with the football aspect of the Birmingham Steeldogs.

When Coach loves you

Now a big part of how successful you will be as the team’s PR director depends greatly on how well you get along with the coaches. They will supply you with all the inside dope on player movement, which will make your job much easier.

When coach loves you, there really is no better time to have your job. You will be included in frank player personnel discussions. You will be included in conversations loaded with privy information. The world is your oyster.

Part of your job is that you control information relating to your team’s player movement. Those movements show up every afternoon at 4:30 p.m. on the af2 transaction report. That same transaction report is released to your local media at the same time. When coach loves you, he will tell you of player moves BEFORE they end up on the transaction report, thus giving you more time to deal with major moves, which puts you one step ahead of the media. This is referred to commonly in the business as “being perched in the catbird seat.”

When Coach hates you

How do you fall out of the catbird seat? It can happen dumbfoundingly quick.

Let’s say that you’re having a conversation with coach and you casually ask him a question about next week’s starting lineup. Perhaps your OS is a little gimpy and you’re innocently wondering as to whether or not he will suit up. After all, you have a roster to get to the league on a deadline.

Asking stupid questions gets you a one-way ticket out of the catbird seat. Suddenly, coach will rise up against you: “Hooper! Haven’t I told you about asking me questions about next weeks’ roster! Hell, I don’t know whose going to play this week! Geez, you’re killing me. That’s it, no more questions. I’m cutting you off!”

See? Innocent enough. You were just checking the trends. Staying on top of the situation. Being a good media relations director. Then, WHAM! No more love from coach. You’re reduced to waiting for the transaction roster to surface with the media dregs. No more oysters. No more catbird seat.

There is really nothing you can do about this phenomenon, it will happen to you just as it happens to all PR directors at some point. Just ride it out and eventually the love will return.
If you wish to speed up the process a bit, then try a bit of reverse psychology to break the no-love-cycle. Try not asking questions for a few days to make him think you’re mad at him. Don’t even go back in his office to see him. Once he feels ignored, he will come bearing information. This is commonly referred to in the business as “playing hard to get.”

The Coaches’ Ego

All of this is directly related to another phenomenon known as “The Coaches’ Ego.”

There has never been a coach at any level of football that doesn’t possess “The Coaches’ Ego.” It’s a facet of the profession. Coach Selesky was never really that bad, but it surfaced at times.

Example: Coach Selesky recruited a player (whose name I won’t mention) who was to take the place of another player who departed the team under dubious circumstances. This player was supposed to be the prototypical athlete for his position: fast, strong, good footwork. Although he was “a bit undersized,” he “makes up for it with his solid fundamentals.”

Turns out that the poor guy was so undersized for his position, he just got beat up and down the line of scrimmage. He was a complete bust at that position.

A coach will always stand up for his players, which is what he is supposed to do. But be sure not to drink the Kool-Aid every time it’s offered to you.

The Coaches’ FOI, or lack thereof

Whether or not coach loves you or hates you, he will always question your security clearance when it comes to gaining privy inside information.

Your organization is a family, but there are tight cliques within that family structure. The front office is a clique. The executive branch is a clique. The trainers and equipment personnel form a clique. The coaches are a clique. The players are a clique. And when you leave your clique to get information about another clique, the leader of the former clique exhibits classic paranoia: “Who else will hear this information? I don’t want any of this information published. You don’t need to know this.”

Again, nothing you can do about this phenomenon. Just be patient with coach and hope that he tells you what you want to hear. It may take a period of trust-building before he shares valuable information with you. He has to be confident that you won’t go out blab to your beat writer.

Remember: Because you have ready access to the media, don’t be surprised if you are the last person to hear certain information: executive decisions, coaching decisions, etc. Expect this, try not to let it get to you. It is not necessary that you’re not trusted…it’s usually just a precaution.

Woe to you if you do blab. In that case, expect your information hydrant to trickle down to the last drop very quickly from every clique in the family.

Your love triangle

You have three obligations as the Steeldogs’ media relations director: the front office (namely the executive branch), the coaches and the players, in that order. Oftentimes there are situations that put those three at odds. You may like a player that coach is being pressured to cut from the executive office. You may agree with the ownership that a player is dead weight and needs to be cut, but coach objects. There are an infinite number of possible situations here. Just remember the order: front office/executives are first, coaches’ second, players third.

Remember: Love your players, but you don’t work for them

In your time here, you will undoubtedly get closer to a few players than others. There’s a common romanticism about this job that involves you hanging out with the pros; that you are buddies with elite athletes. But remember the hierarchy of the love triangle: the players finished last. They will ask you for anything and everything: change this stat (“Don’t you remember my three quarterback hurries? They only marked me down for one!”), get me tickets, can you arrange for to be delivered flowers from me during the game? (this was actually requested of us)

It’s ok to love your players. If there is a stat discrepancy, clear it up. (only after you make sure that their really is a reason to) But don’t bend over backwards. The cold reality is this: a lot of players are lazy. They have been pampered all through college and expect things to be handed to them with no question. It would seem ludicrous otherwise.

Respect them, help when you can, but maintain a professional distance.

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Dealing with Game Night

Nothing tests your mettle quite like game night. I was thrust into running game night as a 17-year-old high school student and, honestly, I was so nervous I was nauseated the whole time. In the seven hours between when it starts to get crazy and when the lights go out, you will experience chaos, energy, adrenaline, cheers, jeers, exhaustion, blood, sweat and tears. Essentially, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

The terrifying fact: First one in, last one out…this is indeed a very long day

You can’t cruise through game day and not expect to be worked past the point of exhaustion. A typical game night starts in the morning. Generally, you probably will get into the office around 10:30 or 11:00 a.m. But there are some dates that you know will be much more troublesome than others.

In my final game, July 29, 2006, the BJCC had an event the night before the game, and all of the arena set-up (which normally progresses steadily throughout the week) was clumped into the pre-dawn dawn hours of Saturday morning. Needless to say, we didn’t know what to expect when we got into the office, so we all came in about 9:00 a.m. for a trouble check. This happens at least once or twice a season.

As the PR director, most of your job on game night takes place in the morning of and following the game. So you will likely be the first one in and the last one out. It’s best to accept that fact now and don’t let it get you down. You should expect to get out of the Arena between 10:45 and 11:30. The earliest I’ve ever gone home was 11:00, and that was due to a speedy takedown and a lot of extra help.

Preparing during the week

There is really not much you can do to prepare for game night until Thursday afternoon or Friday. Teams don’t have final rosters ready until that time, so you can’t really do a trustworthy flipcard. Most teams don’t release a final version of game notes until after the roster is finalized as well. So there’s no use making copies of the first editions you will receive on Tuesday afternoon (which is when the first set of notes is due).

For Friday games, its best to get everything together on Thursday. Friday is best for Saturday games. You get the picture.

Setting up in the morning

Once you get to the Arena on game day, here are your supplies. They are all located in a brown box under my desk.

1. The Stats computer: an old, grey laptop that the Stats crew will use to keep the
box score on. It has a power cord attached as well.
2. Stats printer: the equally old Epson 777. Also near the computer.
3. The big, black binder: This binder has blank scoresheets inside for the Stats
crew to record on during the game.
4. The black land-line telephone: it has the Sportsticker numbers on a sticker near
the top of the phone.
5. Three pencils and a pen: for the Stats crew
6. A floppy disk: to save the game stats on
7. A flashlight: you’ll see why
8. A roll of clear packing tape: again, you’ll see why
9. Blank copy paper: for the printer
10. All your game notes (usually 20-25 per game for each team), flipcards and a
few media guides
11. A voting ballot for players of the game

The press box is divided on two levels: one on the course underneath the upper deck (top of section 24 in lower deck) and a couple of rows of blue tables in section 24 of the upper deck. Generally, we have sat visiting radio, our game operations, our PA and our scoreboard operators at the white table in the lower press box. If you decide to do the same, there should be nine chairs at the long white table in the lower press box on gameday.

When you go up the stairs to the press box, you will see a press lounge at the top of the stairs just before you ascend the next throng of stairs up to the lower press box. This room should be unlocked for you on game day morning and a skirted table placed against the wall. You can do with this room what you want; I always put a few sets of notes, some flipcards, a couple of programs/media guides and a cooler of water for the press in the room.

Once you are in the lower press box, you will notice two separate booths, one on the far left and one on the far right. The BJCC will use the far left one for video. Our radio team will use the one on the far right.

Our radio equipment is contained in a large, silver suitcase looking thing and a black leather satchel. In order to set it up and test it (which will need to be done a few weeks before the first game), call the radio station and have them come out and show you how it’s done. If Matt Coulter returns as our play-by-play guy, he knows how to set it up and tear it down. Make sure all of the gear is set up before the gates open and the radio crew gets there.

Be sure to place notes for our radio and visiting radio at their spots, namecards are optional, but a nice touch. The bulk of the notes will go up to the upper deck press tables.

Now, there are no phone lines in the upper deck, but here is where the tape comes in. Go back down to the lower press box and go to the far right corner, next to the window of our broadcast booth. There should be a mess of cords in the corner right at the end of the table. Pick out a coil of phone cords with two beige colored phone jacks. Now take that coil and stand out in the lower deck and toss it up to the press tables in the upper deck. Tape them down and affix them both to one of the press tables. You will use one of those jacks for the black phone to call Sportsticker. The other will be used by your beat writer for Internet access.

Set the stats computer and printer, as well as the black binder, pens and pencils, paper, disk and flashlight down at the first table. Try and set them up on the far right side (if your looking at the tables from the field) of the table closest to the field. This is where the stats crew sits. The rest of the seats are for working media. If there is a problem with the tables, power, etc., ask the BJCC staff for help.

If you get started setting up around noon, you should finish in an hour or so. Then it’s time to sit back and wait for the bottom to fall out.

When it starts to get crazy

Around 3 p.m., after you’ve changed into your game night duds, everything will get busy. It will come out of nowhere. All of a sudden people will be running around like crazy, talking into radios and looking flustered. Stay calm. Your job is generally idiot-proof

Essentially, from this point until the game is over, you are a supervisor and a fire extinguisher. All of the grunt work is done. You’ve got to worry about people not having their press passes, making sure the photographer shows up (you do have a photographer, don’t you?), making sure everybody finds parking, making sure the stats computer works the entire game, making sure the stats crew is well-taken care. Put out fires when they flare up.

The Stats Crew

The men of the stats crew are your unsung heroes. I hope to God Clint Scherf wants to come back for an eighth year, or else you will need to call around to local college SID departments to find someone to do your scoring. Clint has been with the team since day one. He and Wayne and Dave are the af2’s finest. No kidding. Please do what ever you can to make them feel appreciated. They don’t get paid.

In-game responsibilities

During the game, three things must be done: stats supervised and distributed, scores called in to Sportsticker and the media taken care of. Make sure to get box scores and scores from around the league in the hands of our owners, our media, and both radio teams after each quarter. Call Sportsticker after each score and after each quarter. Please greet the attending media and fulfill their needs. Also, it is your responsibility to get with Scott and get the attendance numbers near the end of the third quarter. Get those to the PA announcer and to the Stats crew for inclusion in the box score.

Post-game responsibilities

Make sure you call local TV stations with a final score after calling Sportsticker for the last time. Have the Stats crew print out a full book of final stats and have them save the stats file in FPK format on the floppy disk. Take the hard copy and make three copies for the officials, three copies for their SID, three copies for their coach, three copies for our coach and a couple of copies for yourself. Fax the box score and individual numbers to Group Dial 20 on our fax machine, as well as to the opponents fax list (provided by their SID) and to the league’s fax list (from the PR Manual).

After you distribute the copies of stats, take the disk and email the FPK file to the league as directed by the Media Services Director in the PR Manual. Then, write a post-game story to be emailed to the league and your media list. Post that story on the Web site as well.

After all that’s done, go back up stairs and break down all the crap you set up that morning. Coil the phone cords back up and place them back down in the lower press box. Break the radio gear back down into the containers and place them back in the office. Remember, anything you leave out in the arena is likely to be gone by the time the weekend is over. There are a lot of sticky fingers at the BJCC. Lock everything back up in the office.

Lessons from five years of running game night

If you haven’t done this before, I won’t lie, game nights are tough. You will sweat clear through your orange shirt. By the time the game is over, you will think to yourself: “there is no way I have the energy to break all this stuff back down and put it away.” But you will. Just think to yourself: “If a 17-year-old high school student could handle this and not get fired, you can too!”

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Dealing with the Print Material

In the first six years of Steeldogs football, our publications left much to be desired. Our media guide was a joke, hardly any design qualities, little information…not representative of the fine department from which it came. During those years, we sent the little information we place in the media guide to a local designer, who cut and pasted it into a pre-established pattern which hardly changed from year-to-year and stayed the same size from 2001 to 2005.

In my final season, we scrapped all of that. All major team publications: media guide, fact and record book and game programs all originated from my computer. We purchased Quark Xpress design software and published an 8.5X11 behemoth media guide, full of vibrant color and pictures and everything. We produced the league’s first “Fact and Record Book” which is a scaled down, pocket media guide. And we took over the programs, except for the covers, which the designer designed for us once again. Here’s how it works:

What we print

One media guide: If you decide to let the designer have it again, and break my heart in the process, then you will have to have a 5.5 X 8.5 media guide. She will handle everything. Just take an old copy from my desk and give her the information contained within. Make sure all the records are up-to-date. Take last year’s media guide stats and add 2006 stats to it.

Eight game programs: Everything stays the same with the program week-to-week, with the exception of the change pages (the two centerfold pages) and the front cover. Same deal as before. You could update it, or the designer could take the job. Just pick some pictures for the program covers and be sure to collect all the ads before print time.

OPTIONAL: One Fact and Record Book: Use the example of last year’s book that should be somewhere on or in my desk. Again, just a pocket reference. The designer has never seen this book, so this would have to be done by you or nobody at all.

How it gets done and how you fit in

Last season’s media guide was not printed as a hard copy, it was burned onto mini CDs by RME Shaped CD of Tuscaloosa (Scott has the number). Whether or not you guys will do that this season remains to be seen. It is cheaper and the league doesn’t seem to mind.

Program change pages, if they are done by you, will be done on Quark Xpress and should be emailed to Commerical no later than the close of business on Monday of the game week they will be printed. (i.e.: if the change pages are due to be in this Saturday’s game program, they need to go out on Monday.)

The change pages include game notes for the upcoming game, updated rosters for both teams and a preview of next weeks game with updated league standings. A copy can be found at the back of this book.

Commercial will fax you a proof of the change pages as they will appear in print usually by Wednesday of game week. Search for problems and correct them (if there are any) and fax it back with your signature. They should arrive late Friday afternoon before game day.


What the league expects and what we expect

Like everything that originates out of this office, there are high expectations for the media guide and game programs. They are very visible aspects of your department and they reflect the effort by which you do your job. Make them sparkle. The league requires what is laid out in the PR manual. I don’t think they have ever fined or reprimanded a team on their media guide, but work on it as if your job depended on it any way. In my day, I have seen some crappy looking media guides from other teams, and it really does lower their standing amongst the league brethren.

Lessons from my experience

Two words: start early, before the end of 2006. These deadlines sneak up on you like a panther in the jungle. When they pounce and you’re not ready, it is a bloody mess. Mistakes will happen, that’s the way it is. Please fact check, spell check and trouble check everything at least ten times. Last season, I included the wrong copyright information for the Showsteelers team photo in every one of the eight game programs. By the time we found the mistake, it was too late. For the rest of the season, I had to spend my Friday afternoons placing white stickers with the correct info over the incorrect info printed in the program. Not fun, especially when there are 400 programs to be stickered per week.

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Three

The third installment of our How To series. NOTE: This has been edited to prevent mischief from the general public.

Chapter Three: Dealing with the Website

I am convinced that my past experiences with our Web site (Steeldogs.com) and our site provider (Infomedia) will lead to male pattern baldness and/or heart arrhythmia. The dichotomy of our relationship with the World Wide Web is laid out below. Just take a deep breath, everything will be okay.


What to do on a weekly basis

Here are the updates you will to send to Infomedia on a regular basis: A typical update email is included in the back of the book.

NEXT GAME: Look at the site. On the top right-hand corner are two helmets facing one another with next game information. You will need to update that every Monday morning following a game (no use sending updates on Saturday or Sunday, they are not going to be posted until Monday.) The helmets can be found at the following site:
http://www.nationalchamps.net/Helmet_Project/

Be sure to send them the right helmet. Birmingham’s never changes.

LEAGUE STANDINGS: Below the next game are the standings. Just update them each week.

PLAYER PROFILE: Send a new player profile every week or so. Select a picture from the archives (Look on the desktop) and write a little blurb on a player that had a good week, good season, whatever.


When to update

This one is easy enough. Whenever the site needs an update, give it one. When times are slow, write a press release updating fans on what’s going on, what to look forward to, etc., and post it. Make sure every release you write is pre-approved by management before it goes to the media or up on the site.

Lessons from my experience

Honestly, things brightened up with the site in my final season, once we were finally able to post press releases in house. Before Content Edits, we had to send important news to Infomedia to be put on the site. Then it wouldn’t get posted in time and we looked like fools. Now you can post whenever you want, no problem. Just update as often as you can and you will be ahead of the af2 curve.

In order to deal with the times when we couldn’t get news out fast enough, I set up the Official Birmingham Steeldogs Blog at http://steeldogs.blogspot.com. I used it last year primarily to keep fans informed on the playoff situation at the end of the 2006 season. It worked to draw traffic back to the blog that was lost once after we were able update the Steeldogs.com site more often.

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter Two

The second installment of how to be a Steeldog.

Chapter Two: Dealing with the Media

Much like George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television,” there are seven rules in dealing with the media for you to follow. Unfortunately, they are not as filthy or humorous.

The Seven Rules of the Media

Rule 1: Don’t piss them off

The world of television and print media is built on ego, pettiness and laziness. Now that you know this, it will be easier to deal with the people you will be dealing with on a regular basis.

The media is essential to your job, since you need them to get your team free publicity, which sells tickets, etc. That’s what you need to think of when you deal with them: free publicity. A mention on the news is like a free commercial. A newspaper story is like a print ad. Your name gets out to thousands of people at once. Also remember, the media is not obligated to cover you and give you all this free publicity. We are not Alabama or Auburn…yet. There would be little outcry from the masses if the Steeldogs were not a permanent 10 o’clock news feature.

With that being said, the first and most important rule is DON’T PISS THE MEDIA OFF. Chances are they will drop you like it’s hot and not give you anymore sweet, sweet coverage. That hurts you badly, and your bosses will not be pleased.

Rule 2: Give them most of what they need, and do it with a smile

The media will ask for a whole bevy of different things, from rosters, to game notes, to tickets, to inside information. Give them as much as you can, but very, very little inside information. Off the record conversations (not advisable) must be between only your closest media allies. (one of which should include your newspaper beat writer)

Be generous with non-threatening information. Practice site or time change? Send out a mass email. Need a roster, flip card, game notes, a couple of tickets? Hook them up. Do them favors and they will do you favors.

Rule 3: Don’t talk about anything you don’t want in the paper/10 o’clock news

This relates back to rule No. 2, don’t give out sensitive information. Here’s the reality: for seven months out of the year, you help baby-sit 22 football players. These players generally have a tendency to get into trouble. Keep dirty clothes in your team’s hamper, don’t take them to the corner laundry. Keep personnel moves, coaching changes, player/coach arguments, coach/coach arguments, owner/coach arguments, or any combination of player, coach, trainer, owner, PR director and argument away from cameras or notepads. Message boards are no-nos, as fake login names can be traced. Don’t confide in the Fan Club, for God’s sake. They all have an extra chromosome. More on them in the back of the book.

Rule 4: They are generally nice guys, be friendly with them and they should
return the favor

As has been my experience, hardly anyone I have dealt with regularly in working with the local media has been an ass. Generally, they are easy to work with, down-to-earth people. Treat them fairly and amicably and they will do the same. If you get a chance to bend over backward for them (please don’t bend over forward) then do it. If they need a pair of tickets, do what you can to get them a pair. Remember who owes you favors, they can be returned during parts of the season when coverage is slim and you need a big promotional push.

Rule 5: Learn to love the regulars

Jack Kaufman at FOX6, Brian Pope at FOX6, Sheldon Haygood and Mike Dubberly at FOX6, Rob Jones and Todd Eagle at NBC13, Melissa Lee at ABC3340 and Steve Irvine at the Birmingham News have been my media regulars and good friends since I was an intern with the team back in 2002. They have seen a lot of Steeldogs football and have proven themselves as very dependable. They show up on time, do good work and are easy to work with. Get to know all the media, but its ok to have some favorites. Its win-win for both parties. They might score some tickets, you might get better coverage.

Rule 6: FOI, Bush White House style

Going back to not letting out sensitive information…This office is a family; this team is tight knit, like the Corleones. The Freedom of Information Act exists in principle, but, like the Bush White House, we’ve tweaked it a little. Again, give the media as much you can, but if there is too much sensitive information requested, send back a blacked out memo.

Rule 7: Promptness is crucial

One sure way to piss off the media is to be tardy: with appearances, notes, practice information, whatever. Please be sure to be where you’re supposed to be when you said you would be. If there is a practice location or time change, let the media know ASAP. NOTE: If there is supposed to be a player appearance or a team event and its not on time, they will not wait for you.

Lessons from my experience

Working with the media is a perfect example of a back-scratching relationship. You scratch them, they scratch you. You will hopefully be able to get close to a few of these guys and girls, and this is a good thing. They are good people, for the most part. They understand what you do and why, for the most part. If they sniff effort on your end, you’ll get the same in return. Inversely, if you don’t give them love, they won’t love back.

How to be a Steeldog: Chapter One

This is the first of seven chapters I left behind with the new Media Relations Director on how to perform my former job. It really was easier than it looked I suppose.

Chapter One: Dealing with the League

The league you see today is not the league of old. It used to be so much better than this.

In the olden days, owners had to prove their merits as reputable people in order to be granted a franchise. However, in year seven/eight, it seems that any former NFL player with a small wad of cash can clumsily venture into the land of small market arena football. This will undoubtedly come back to haunt YOU. Try not to let it get under your skin as you’re sitting in the Everett, Wash., airport waiting an hour for the bus that the home team was supposed to provide with a tired football team and a mountain of luggage.

Basically, if you have a problem with the league, let your owner handle it. And never talk to the league’s head honchos without the owner’s knowledge and permission. I speak from bad experience.

The Media Services Director

As of this writing, the MSD is Marc Lestinsky. Marc was the former PR director of the Mohegan/Manchester Wolves of the af2 and has also worked in PR for the Charlotte Hornets/Sting and the University of Rhode Island. Translation: back in the day, he had your job.

What you can do for him

Give him the information he requests. If he needs a roster, give him a roster. If he needs a headshot of a player, get him a headshot. Send him some game photos every now and then (this makes you look good). Send him the game notes on time each week (more on that in the back of the book).

What he can do for you

He can make your team and your players more visible. If you think your player deserves a league Player of the Week award but perhaps the media did not make the proper vote (doesn’t make any sense now, but trust me, it will during the season) then email him your argument. (This actually worked once.) Send him all your team press releases in hopes that they might actually be posted on af2.com for the world to see. Ask him questions, he shall answer.

He works for you

Remember, Marc is practically your employee. He serves the role for you that you serve for your local media. If you need something from his end, please ask. He is supposed to give it to you. You may just have to ask him repeatedly.

Other league personnel

Your dealings with the league are almost exclusively with the Media Services Director and the Player Personnel Director. (as of this writing they were Marc Lestinsky and Scott Wentzel, respectively)

One of your duties during the season is to keep the league informed about who is and is not on your team week-by-week. Once a week during the season, with the exception of your bye week, you must send a current roster to the league. This is normally required on Thursdays of game week by 5 p.m. If your coach has a player transaction that is live, wait until that transaction goes through. Or, as was the case with one of our quarterbacks last season, if a player leaves the team, don’t tell anyone until the day of the next game. Remember, your loyalty is to the team first, af2 down the line.

Channels

The league office is small, but there is an established hierarchy. You can talk to the interns, the media services director and, on occasion, the player personnel director. However, unless your owner directs you to (and it never happened to me in my five years with the team), you do not talk to the commish. And never should you talk to anyone from the AFL office without ownership knowledge and blessing.

Lessons from my experience

Not going through channels reached up and bit me about three years ago, when then-executive director Jay Marcus wrongfully accused me of asking for ridiculous favors from the Philadelphia Soul after I called him for an interview relating to a Steeldogs game program story I was assigned to write. Almost got me fired. The lesson: deal with the af2 just enough to get your job done, and then leave them alone.

"You guys are Nazis man, you're freakin Nazis"

I laugh out loud everytime I see this:

Random Family Guy Moment

Recently de-classified Steeldogs feature: "Our Miracle Minute"

Now, that my time with the Birmingham Alabama Steeldogs has passed, I'm finding stories that I begged my boss to allow me to publish, but to no avail. But screw that now.

This was 86'd because it showed weakness in the face of our biggest rival, who had already beaten us senseless 11 out of the 13 times we had played them. I'm sure this story would have really put us in a bind as far as winning the game would have been concerned.

Our Miracle Minute
Remember the Steeldogs' Greatest Game

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - The af2's oldest series, inaugural matchup and fiercest rivalry is back as the Birmingham Steeldogs meet the Tennessee Valley Vipers this Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. inside the Von Braun Center in Huntsville, Ala.

The game dates back to March 31, 2000, when the two teams met at the BJCC Arena for the af2's first-ever game. Before, during and ever-since that night, the rivalry has become an entity all to itself, prompting fans on both sides to make appropriate game preparations weeks in advance of kickoff.

In lieu of the renewal of "The War of I-65," the Steeldogs are getting an early start on celebrating an important anniversary: it's been two years since the af2's "Miracle Minute" and the greatest Steeldogs game ever played.

Now, arena football historians will tell you there is but only one "Miracle Minute." On June 19, 1992, in a game between the Orlando Predators and the now-defunct Detroit Drive, Orlando's Barry Wagner scored 16 points, recovered an onsides-kick and made a crucial tackle, all within 60 seconds, to power the Preds to a crucial 50-49 victory. The feat was recently hailed as the 11th greatest moment in the 20-year history of arena football.

Not to take away from Wagner's accomplisment, but Steeldogs and Vipers fans alike will tell you that what they witnessed almost two years ago at the BJCC Arena was just as miraculous.

May 29, 2004. Riding a six-game winning streak and having never beaten Tennessee Valley on their home turf, the Steeldogs host the Vipers in the 10th meeting of the series.

The game started out as a defensive grudge match. After scoring a touchdown on their first drive, the Steeldogs offense managed only one more trip to the paint. The team's 13 first-half points were far less than the 32 points they had averaged through the first two quarters in the previous seven games of the 2004 season.

Fortunately, the Steeldogs defense rose to the occasion, forcing the Vipers to lay a first half goose-egg. Tennessee Valley suffered through four missed field goals, an interception and two turnovers-on-downs in the opening two quarters alone.

The Steeldogs jump out to a 23-6 lead by the beginning of the fourth quarter, powered by a Rhett Gallego field goal and a long touchdown pass from Kenton Evans to Detronn Harris. But the Vipers fight back, narrowing the lead to 23-20 after two fourth quarter touchdowns and a handful of Steeldogs turnovers. The stage was now set for the af2's version of the "Miracle Minute."

Birmingham takes over possession with a three-point lead and 57 seconds remaining on the fourth quarter clock. On first and 10 from the Vipers' 20-yard line, FB/LB Dontae Walker is stripped of the football and Tennessee Valley's Henry Freeman recovers, setting the Vipers up at their own 18. Two plays later, Tennessee Valley captures the lead for the first time, 27-23, on a two-yard plunge by Jerrian James. Thirty-three seconds remain.

The Steeldogs start their final drive of the fourth quarter at their own 11-yard line with two timeouts remaining. QB Jeff Aaron completes a 12 yard pass across the middle to Harris, moving the ball out near midfield. Birmingham calls its second and third timeouts. Twenty-four seconds remain.

On the next play, Aaron drops back into the pocket, which quickly collapses, forcing him to step up and roll right. He spots a streaking Carlos McNeary making his move toward the back right corner of the endzone. He fires a bullet into McNeary's waiting arms, sending the crowd of nearly 7,500 into a frenzy. Gallego adds the extra point, putting Birmingham back on top, 30-27. Fourteen seconds remain.

Tennessee Valley takes over at their own goal line and marches 24 yards on two quick passes from Josh Kellett to James. With just three seconds remaining, Vipers kicker Sean Sullivan trots out onto the turf. Having just been assigned to the team and playing in his first ever arena football game, Sullivan calmly steps up and drills a 40-yard field goal to send the league's most vitriolic rivalry into its first-ever overtime.

As the captains lined up for the coin flip, which the Vipers called and won, fans had a moment to reflect on the "Miracle Minute," within which 17 points were scored and the lead changed hands four times.

Birmingham beings the overtime period on offense at midfield after Detronn Harris' 25-yard kickoff return. On the drive's first play, Aaron again feels pressure and steps up into the pocket. A split-second before making the decision to give up on the play and run for whatever yardage he could manage, he spots WR/DB Brian Haugabrook all alone near the Vipers' 15-yard line. Aaron floats a pass into Haugabrook's gloves. The former Florida Gator then slips down the sideline virtually untouched and bounds into the endzone, putting Birmingham back on top by six at 36-30.

However, Gallego pulls the point-after attempt wide, setting up the Vipers to sneak into the endzone and make the rookie Sullivan a legend in the Rocket City with a successful extra point.

Valley takes over at their own 7-yard line after a 26-yard kickoff return by Jerrian James is erased by a holding call. Kellett completes a pass to James for 12 yards to the Vipers' 19. First down.

Kellett faces intense pressure from the Steeldogs defensive line on the ensuing play and tosses the ball into the stands. Vipers' fans retroactively wish he would do the same on the next play.

On second down, Kellett floats a long ball in James' general direction, but he is trapped in double coverage. Steeldogs WR/DB Demontray Carter locks onto the errant ball and picks it off, insuring the team's seventh straight victory, and, more importantly the first-ever win over Tennessee Valley in Birmingham.

The game is generally regarded to this day as the greatest in the history of the Birmingham Steeldogs. Despite seven turnovers, including three lost fumbles on consecutive drives in the fourth quarter, Birmingham still bested its hated rival and successfully defended its home turf after years of disappointment. A picutre of the scoreboard proclaiming the final score still hangs in the team's front office, a reminder of the special rivalry that exists between these two proud in-state teams. It's a tribute to the af2's own "Miracle Minute" and to the greatest Steeldogs game ever played.

Depth Reporting story on hurricane forecasting

Written in early September 2005, this is me writing about a topic I'd like to think I know a lot about. And, to be fair with myself, I know my share. If only I had the math skills necessary to botch seven forecasts a week, I'd have been a on-air met.

This was written for one of my favorite college professors of all time, Chris Waddle, who taught depth journalism at UA. He's a Pulitzer winner, two times over, and hey, he gave me an A on it! How 'bout that? Praise from Caesar...

A Fine Line?

As a record hurricane season rages on, forecasters are trying to convince coastal residents that a hurricane is more than meets the eye.

By Matt Hooper

It was to be a city under water.

Downtown streets turned into canals, high-rise buildings vented by exploding windows, major thoroughfares and access arteries cut off from rescue aid. A city of nearly a half million displaced.

Tampa, Fla., on Friday, Aug. 13, 2004.

***

It had been a full day since the National Hurricane Center’s forecast map placed the residents of Tampa and its sibling city of St. Petersburg in the crosshairs of a violent storm.

Every six hours in the life of a tropical storm or hurricane, the NHC releases an updated forecast map to news outlets across the country. The map details the storm’s current position, denoting it with a brown bulls-eye, and quantifies the system’s proximity to land. From the bulls-eye, there extends a skinny black line that directs the most violent part of the storm, the eyewall, to its forecasted destination. That skinny black line splits a cone of probability, colored in white, which widens as the forecast extends further into the future; serving as a visual representation of the unpredictability of these prodigious storms and marking the extent of the area within which the skinny black line could wobble left or right.

Just before sunrise on Thursday, Aug. 12, Tampa Bay was bisected on the newest forecast map by a skinny black line.

Charley, the third child of the 2004 hurricane season, was born on the afternoon of Monday, Aug. 9, just north of the Venezuelan coast. The forecast called for the storm to move northwest toward an area off the Cuban coast. It would muscle up past tropical storm status to become a hurricane, as happens to all tropical systems that achieve constant wind speeds at or greater than 74 mph.

Monday morning’s skinny black line missed the western coast of Cuba by roughly 90 miles.

Monday afternoon’s skinny black line was shifted nearly 150 miles east.

Now central Cuba was to expect the brunt of Charley and much sooner than expected as almost a full day had been shaved off expected arrival times. Six hours later the skinny black line inched further past Cuba and into the eastern Gulf of Mexico.

Just before sunrise on Wednesday, Aug. 11, Charlotte Harbor, an inlet more than 90 miles south of Tampa’s famous crescent, was bisected on the newest forecast map by a skinny black line.

One day later, the track shifted north to Tampa.

Landfall was expected on Friday afternoon. Charley could possibly be a Category 2 hurricane, as measured by intensity scale for these storms, known as the Saffir-Simpson.

A plan for the evacuation of the Tampa region commenced immediately. According to an Aug. 12, 2004 report by CBS News, it was estimated that 380,000 residents of the coastal city were told to pack up and head north. Cars and trucks inched slowly north on Interstate 75 throughout the day on Thursday, while Charley’s swirling winds and drenching downpours walloped the island nation of Cuba and skirted past the Florida Keys.

Lisa Kaminski, the manager of a Days Inn Hotel in Key West told CBS News that while guests were told to high-tail it to Hialeah or motor up to Miami to escape the pounding surf and howling winds, her staff was going nowhere.

“We’re staying,” she said. “This isn’t a big one.”

At 11 a.m. on Friday, Aug. 13, Category 2 Charley and his 110 mph winds were knocking on Tampa’s door, its speed increasing, its eye tightening, its winds strengthening. Tampa was doomed for a direct impact. Port Charlotte, once the forecasts’ focal point, was bumped down to the outermost fringe of the cone of probability.

Around noon, the storm’s energy exploded in a fit of strengthening. What was once only a formidable system became apocalyptic. Its winds held steady at 145 mph with higher gusts, strong enough to rip apart well-built homes, move cars without turning a key, shift a beach hundreds of yards inland or just erase it altogether. Now Category 4 royalty on a scale that halts at five, Tampa’s scenario got bleaker, despite the fact that what first appeared to be a wobble to the right of the hurricane’s set path, was looking more like an out-and-out detour.

The skinny black line stayed put.

John Emmert was the news director at WINK-TV in Fort Myers on that Friday the 13. He tells “The Rundown,” a Web site devoted to the coverage of local television news, that his meteorologists predicted a more southern landfall.

“The Hurricane Center’s forecast has a center line which is the consensus line, which was Tampa,” Emmert explained. “Our guys didn’t think [the storm’s track shift] was a wobble, we went on the air right after that and told people it looked like the hurricane was headed closer to Fort Myers.”

At 2 p.m., the NHC’s skinny black line finally shifted southward, bisecting Charlotte Harbor, staring down Punta Gorda and Fort Myers.

At 3:45 p.m., Charley’s devastating winds, flooding rains and pounding surf permanently altered the landscape of Port Charlotte and Punta Gorda and the lives of its residents.

Ninety miles away from Tampa Bay were 31 dead bodies and more than 11,000 uninhabitable homes and pieces of homes. Much of downtown Punta Gorda was reduced to rubble. Citizens complained that they were unprepared; the NHC blamed the media.

“We’re kind of surprised that people were surprised,” said Robbie Berg, an NHC meteorologist speaking to the Associated Press.

Berg said that the problem lies not with the Center’s forecasted path, but with the media’s fixation on “Tampa, Tampa, Tampa.”

“We always wish we could have more, better guidance,” Berg said. “But with what we had, we did the best we could. Errorwise, we really weren't that bad. It's just that the storm happened to be so intense, that it made a big difference in landfall.”

***

More than 30 years have passed since hurricanes were first tagged with a number on the original Saffir-Simpson scale and first led to shore by a skinny black line. In the late 1970s, hurricane forecasts extended only one day into the future. In the early 1980s and 1990s, the prognostications pushed outward to three days. Now, the Hurricane Center issues a five-day outlook that includes the skinny black line, the cone of probability, a likely cone of probability and the storm’s Saffir-Simpson classification.

Forecasters have become more knowledgeable of the storms they track, computer models are more exact and confidence in forecast accuracy is increasing. Chances are that no tropical meteorologist would argue that the forecasts have not improved markedly over the past 30 years.

But Punta Gorda’s people still claim they were unprepared for Charley. The National Hurricane Center still claims that not only should Punta Gorda have been prepared, despite being 90 miles away from the pinpoint forecast, but that the average margin of error of these storms at 48 hours from predicted landfall is 110 miles.

How does that skinny black line communicate danger to that 110 mile radius? Why not focus only on the cone of probability? Is a five-day outlook in the best interest of the public? Will the confusion that took place on Florida’s western coast happen again if a similar storm threatens another major metropolitan area?

***

It is a city under water.

Downtown streets are canals, high-rise buildings are vented by exploded windows, major thoroughfares and access arteries are cut off from rescue aid. A city of a half million is displaced.

New Orleans, August 29, 2005.

***

New Orleans, a city long-feared to one day wind up in the crosshairs of a deadly cyclone, awoke on Aug. 26, 2005 and the skinny black line was staring at the mouth of Mobile Bay, over 100 miles east of the city.

By lunch time, the line and The Big Easy got cozier and the weather service got nervous. At supper time, Crescent City residents could theoretically have stepped outside their homes, glanced over the skyline, and seen a skinny black line silhouetted in the eastern sky against a rising crescent moon.

The line punctured the southern Louisiana barrier island of Grand Isle before snaking dangerously close to the New Orleans’ ports, to its rebellious French Quarter, to its disadvantaged Ninth Ward. Parked a handful of miles east of the city, the black line was the harbinger for Katrina, the largest and most powerful hurricane to threaten the Gulf Coast since 1969.

Born out of a jumbled mass of thunderstorms and tropical showers, Katrina quickly morphed into a Category 2 spitfire, slicing through South Florida and emerging into the simmering Gulf waters. There it flourished, leaping from two to five on the Saffir-Simpson scale and chugging swiftly north toward the coastline shared by Louisiana and Mississippi.

Evacuations were ordered as hurricane warnings stretched the length of the Magnolia State shoreline and into the Louisiana bayou. A day before the forecasted landfall, the city of New Orleans was forced to flee. Most did, several did not.

News networks across the country sprang into action, with the onus of activity centering on The Big Easy. What was going to happen when a city surrounded by water and resting almost completely under sea level became engulfed in storm surge and tropical downpours?

At 6:10 a.m. on Monday Aug. 29, a slightly-weakened Category 4 Katrina pierced the early morning calm at Grand Isle before barreling east into the Mississippi towns of Waveland and Gulfport. The most despicable winds, the heaviest rains and a 30-foot wall of storm surge ravished the Delta State coast.

New Orleans survived the winds; few structures were flattened by Katrina’s breezes. It succumbed to the rain.

The forecast was not exactly perfect, as the skinny black line was about 15 or 20 miles west of the storm’s actual path, but it was pretty darn close according to a report filed by staff reporters at MSNBC, who declared that “two federal agencies got it right: the National Weather Service and the National Hurricane Center.

“They forecast the path of the storm and the potential for devastation with remarkable accuracy.”

But Jack Crochet of Biloxi, who rode out the storm in his now splintered home, told staff reporters at The (Jackson, Miss.) Clarion-Ledger that “we thought everything was going to New Orleans.”

President George W. Bush, during a question and answer session in Biloxi, himself acknowledged that the coast of Mississippi seemed to pale in comparison to The Crescent City, saying “Mississippi people have got to understand that I know a lot of the focus is on New Orleans.”

This time it was a near perfect forecast, but still there are complaints of citizens who suffered ungodly devastation and felt that they were unprepared, despite hurricane warnings and attempted evacuations. Why? Was everyone too fixated on that skinny black line?

***

Neil Johnson of The Tampa Tribune published an article, “Hurricane Forecast Maps May Lose Direct-Hit Line,” on Oct. 22, 2004, a little over a month following Charley’s unexpected detour into Charlotte Harbor. In it, Johnson addresses this argument by citing Max Mayfield, the director of the National Hurricane Center.

“Don’t focus on that skinny line,” said Mayfield, which also happens to be what he told Congress on Sept. 22, 2005 as he addressed the NHC’s role in forecasting Katrina. Mayfield told Johnson that he wants the line to be removed, but the consensus of the meteorological community was that the skinny black line did more good than harm.

After the 2004 hurricane season, the NHC conducted an email poll to determine whether or not forecasts had reached the end of the skinny black line. According to the AP’s Bill Kaczor, of the 971 email responses from media representatives, meteorologists and local emergency management agencies, 63 percent are in favor of keeping the line in the forecast packages. So the NHC succumbed to the will of the majority.

Chris Landsea is one of the Center’s most seasoned forecasters and was a part of the group of meteorologists that paced up and down the office floor in Miami as Charley hiccupped into Punta Gorda and Katrina careened into the easternmost coast of Louisiana. He described the inaccuracies accompanying that skinny black line.

“A two-day forecast has an average margin of error of 125 to 150 miles or so,” Landsea said. “So it’s something that, if you give an exact point, can be misleading.”

One hundred fifty-six miles separate Birmingham, Ala., from Atlanta, 142 miles separate Cleveland from Columbus, Ohio and 121 miles separate Los Angeles from San Diego.

Massachusetts is 152 miles wide.

Hurricanes themselves can be hundreds of miles in diameter, with its peak winds packed into the eyewall and gale force winds extending up to 100 miles from the center of circulation, but the intensity of the storm is not uniform.

Storms in the Northern Hemisphere have a natural tendency to spin counterclockwise, which takes the circulation from left to right and back again and secures that right side of the storm (if the hurricane is moving north) will always be stronger than the left. Katrina, for example, made landfall with winds of at least 145 mph, moving north at 15 mph. On the left side of the storm, you would subtract the motion of the storm from the wind total. In New Orleans, the winds spun at 130 mph, which is a Category 3 measurement.

On the right side of the storm, you would add the storm’s motion to the wind speed. On the Mississippi Gulf Coast, 160 mph winds sandblasted homes, ripped pavement off of roads, displaced bridges and moved boats miles into dry dock. Those are Category 5 winds, or what Saffir and Simpson referred to as “catastrophic.”

If a 20 mile jog in the forecasted track of a storm that is hundreds of miles wide can mean the difference between moderate damage and catastrophic damage, imagine what 150 miles could do.

One thing that a 150 mile forecast mistake does is give people a false sense of security. Brian Peters, the former chief of Birmingham’s National Weather Service office and now an on-camera forecaster at WBMA ABC 33/40 in The Magic City, says that one bad forecast can contaminate coastal residents for generations.

“Human nature says: ‘Well, they missed it before, and they’ll miss it again,’” Peters said. “Human nature also says: ‘I survived the last one, I’ll survive this one.’”

Peters’ obsession with all things tropical began, ironically, with Hurricane Donna, which slammed into Charlotte Harbor on Sept. 10, 1960, blazing the trail that Charley would follow 44 years later. Since then, he has not only studied some of history’s worst storms, he’s been hunkered down in the midst of them. If anyone knows why there can be 150 miles of forecast error for these systems, he does.

“Well, forecasting is not completely an exact science,” Peters said with a chuckle. “We’d like to think it is, but I don’t think it will be in my lifetime.

“There are many factors. For instance, the eye in a hurricane or tropical storm is constantly changing, constantly changing its character. They don’t move in a straight line, they wobble.”

A wobble, a burp in the not-so-straight path of a hurricane might be normal, leaving the forecasted track unchanged. Or it might signify a shift in the track, as it did for Charley. But even if Charley’s eye had stayed on its original track, the damage was still likely to peak south of the point of landfall. Again, the onus falls on the skinny black line.

“It’s important if you’re a Gulf Coast resident to understand that there is more to a hurricane than the eye,” Peters said. “Historically, that’s what we’ve looked at, statistically it’s an identifiable thing that meteorologists use in trying to evaluate a forecast.”

Dr. Jennings Bryant, a professor and media researcher at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, has studied the role of the media in covering disasters. He believes that the media’s focus on the skinny black line can also give some people that false sense of security.

“People tend to think in terms of central tendencies, always using means and averages,” Bryant said. “People feel like: ‘That line is 20 miles to the east of me, well, I’m safe.’ In terms of public safety, that’s a problem.”

A hurricane is more than the eye, that’s a fact you don’t have to sweat out of forecasters. But the line tracks the eye and only the eye. So how do you sway people away from what Bryant calls “central tendencies?”

The NHC is trying to tackle that problem.

For 2005, a new, experimental map accompanies each tropical system’s forecast package, showing the probability of hurricane or tropical storm force winds striking a particular area with a certain time frame. In addition, the NHC continues to issue hurricane watches and warnings for areas that find themselves within the cone of probability. All of the areas along Florida’s western coast that weathered Charley’s fury were under warnings, the same for Mississippi’s coast during Katrina.

The Weather Channel, America’s 24-hour weather television resource, has eliminated the skinny line completely from their forecasts, relying solely on a “cone of concern.” The same applies at Accuweather.com.

Media, however, still have a tendency to focus on that one point, that skinny black line. Remember forecaster Robbie Berg and his complaint of “Tampa, Tampa, Tampa?” Remember Dr. Bryant’s “central tendencies?”

It appears that the skinny black line is also becoming a money-making obsession. According to “The Rundown’s” story which first told of meteorologists in Fort Myers disagreeing with the NHC’s forecast track, the local television stations in Tampa and St. Petersburg were in a “hotly contested marketing battle” to predict Charley’s correct path, their own skinny black line.

Back in Birmingham, Brian Peters, whose ABC station has been involved in a meteorological arms race with the other major networks in the city since its inception, acknowledges that the media’s role in covering these storms is an important cog in a system designed to save lives.

“If the NHC forecast is good…and I don’t know of anyone who can truly fault their forecasts over the past couple of years…the warnings are for the right areas, the media does their job of conveying that and not focusing on the line, and people respond by being informed, I think the system works fine.”

Peters adds that while he is not in favor of completely eliminating the skinny black line from the forecast package, he is in favor of directing the public’s eyes away from it.

“If there was something that could be used to get people away from the line, I certainly would be in favor of it,” Peters said. “That is, as long as we could continue to convey to people the dangers that they are likely to experience.

“We need to do more education to deemphasize the line.”

The NHC’s Chris Landsea agrees, and emphasizes that the most important forecast tools his office has are hurricane watches and warnings.

“You know, hurricane warnings are put out there when the storm is over a day away to get the point across that there is a region that is going to be impacted,” Landsea said. “With regard to Katrina, all of Mississippi’s coast was warned that: ‘Hey, there’s a hurricane coming and you’d better get ready now.’

“It’s unfortunate that people came away with a wrong notion.”